Supergirl and the Invisible Girl

I love her, don't get me wrong. My Superboy. Supergirl. Whatever.

But there's times when you can't help to wonder if you'd have what you have if it wasn't for her. What would I be if she wasn't here? Just another weirdo, another freaky kid, with a lot of talent, maybe, and a lot of charm. But who would notice me if Supergirl wasn't here? How many of the things we've achieved are really mine? Who's living this life? Who do the people who say they love us really love?
I'd make way for her if she wanted me to. We've talked about this, I could leave and let her take over. Who would notice? Who would miss me? But if she left.... if she left, my world would shatter. I'd lose everything.
We share. We share everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. But I do wonder...who shares with who? Who has what? What would be of us if we didn't have each other?

Who's Supergirl and who's Invisible Girl?

...I need to talk to her right now.

On The Princess

The Lady Door.
Such a fitting pen name for someone who has spent her life, conscious or not, opening portals to other realities. What can be imagined, can be done. Everything exists the moment you focus your attention on it, the question is: does it exist because you notice it, or do you notice it because it exists? What is imagination but a portal?

When I was little, I sensed them there. And I payed attention, it was a great way of never being alone; even if other kids wouldn't talk to me or play with me, I always had someone to be with. They would be my toys, because I neded them to have a body. That's how I could rationalize it back then. But never did I use the word "imaginary", because "imaginary" is a pretty word they use to cover a harsh meaning: unreal.

Imagination has always been my weapon of choice: nothing has been impossible for me because I haven't yet found anything I can't imagine. And minds are powerful things. They design, create, destory and reshape everythinginto what we want it to be, and that's what we spend most of our lives doing. Few people take the time to use one of the most intersting powers our mind has: the power of connecting.

Why people are what they are has always intrigued me. If feelings shape people or people shape their feelings, we may never know, but we know feelings are important. Feleings change perceptions, shape ideas, and inspire us to take action. Feelings can't be controlled, but they can be mastered just as they can master us. To truly know how someone else feels is to understand them in one of the deepest levels. It means putting away your OWN perceptions and become someone else for a moment, an extension of the person you are trying to understand.
This is the key to "hosting". Being able to step aside, emotionally and spiritually, for someone else to fill the blanks you leave. If you can manage it and not go mental, you're safe. Sad thing is not many can.

Not many people master this ability to connect,though many can use it. When it comes to clinical terms for it, there are many: schyzophrenia, Multiple Personality Disorder... easy-fix conditions, just med them and lock them away. We need someone to teach us how to control it, to truly master it. If we were given this ability, there must be some way for us to use it to help.

A total of 235 different people have come, been and gone with me, which caused a breakdown when I was around 15. After that, I decided to completely block myself to them, until Di and Red came along, shattered my pre-established fourth wall, and helped me rebuild myself.

235, 123 of which were here at the same time. Never try this, or let it happen. Even if you decide to be a "temporary host", or "Half-way House", never hold more than 4 "actives" at the time, 6 if you happen to be a master at emotional detachment. Imagine being overtaken by all that load of emotions and thoughts at the same time; rage, joy, euphoria, ecstasy, pain, heartache...

My intentions for this blog are simple: to share my experiences in this field with fellow "hosts", hoping it will be of help. I know the wisest thing is to keep this quiet, but at this point in life, I just stopped caring about what "the best thing" is, concerning this. If I can be of help, I will be.